Bhai Phota or more popularly known as Bhai Dooj in northern parts of India, holds a very special place in my heart; more so as it is one of the last few festivals after the Durga Pujo and Kali Pujo marathon. Nonetheless, gifts formed a considerable aspect towards working hard for phota preparations. 😉
A little backstory for all those not acquainted with this festival; it is a Hindu festival equipping younger or elder sisters to pray for the well-being and prosperity of their brothers. I recollect as a kid we spent this day to the fullest, having fun filled conversations, games, grub competitions and movies. As the sulfur fog settled after the elaborate Kali Pujo nights, I’d look forward to the yearly ritual of celebrating bhai-phota. The sisters wake up early to get the puja and food preparations in place on time while the brothers had the “most difficult” job of taking a good shower, wearing a fresh pair of clothes and showing up on time for the rituals.
I recall Mamma waking up early to re-do the house post our Kali Pujo madness and then waking up Baba to run errands for the day. A detailed list of fruits, sweets, and gourmet condiments got handed over and was followed to the T. She then quickly got onto the preparations for the mega-lunch closely followed by getting ready in a crisp new saree. It used to be mandatory ritual for sisters to drape a saree on the auspicious occasion, preferably from their mom’s closet. I left no leaf unturned even at the age of 7. I vividly remember running behind my mother with a half-worn saree in one hand and the bunch of safety pins in the other, while she ran about making last minute arrangements. Punctuality was very high on my uncle’s charts, he was always at our door-step as the clock struck 10. Mamma ensured to complete her phota rituals before getting on with bhai and I for our turn .
Our cousins lived upstairs; we also had some of our close-knit second cousins come down to celebrate together. All the brothers seated themselves in a row; age over height always! We, the sisters invariably had either our mothers or aunts accompanying us, as we moved on from one brother to the other. Either our sarees screamed for help or with the tray carrying sweets and doi-phota drew serious attention. Chhanar mishti reinforces family bonds, when a girl feeds her brother sondesh. A bunch load of pictures, a lot of chaos and a mouthful of sweets later, we breathed a sigh of relief. This year one, I trotted towards the gift and was elated the second I unwrapped it. I had secretly wished for a new school bag and there it was, a hip looking, brand-new brown coloured bag. I have always believed in having a utilitarian gifting process. Hence, I had landed myself with a pink coloured floral raincoat from Duckback for Bhai-phota one year.
Bengali festive lunches are as elaborate as it can get; it broadly ranges from starting with Luchi with Cholar daal and Begun Bhaja to Subzi Polao with Dhokar Daalna, topped with a faint zing from Gondhoraj-lebu. These were merely appetizers to what lies ahead, Machher Chop with a side of Bhapa Bhetki, closely followed by Alu-Posto or Kosha Mangsho. Our cuisine categorically glides towards a sweet ending; first comes a tomato-khejur chutney with papad, subsequently followed by Payesh and Roshogolla / Sondesh. Woah, I feel full just penning down our usual phota menu; you can radically imagine the gluttony rush and pressure.
We’d typically just stay at home catching up with the races of each other’s lives. We booked matinee show tickets to movies on some years, when the eldest in the lot was entrusted with managing the heard of disobedient beings. This year, I was blessed enough to be with Bhai and Bhai-in-law on this occasion and my fair attempt at re-creating mamma’s famous Kosha Mangsho for the grub-fest was well-appreciated! Phota or no-phota, I miss our younger days of celebrating together while I also appreciate all the chances life has thrown at me for creating memories to last another lifetime. Hence, living life King Size!
The Kosha Mangsho/Mutton recipe - Bong eats